The inner calling

I was shy in my school days!

I was an introvert during my college days!

I was an average student throughout my life!

I was defined as “good for nothing” by many of my friends, relatives, and my father’s colleagues who called me lazy and also used to laugh at me due to my weight. 

I got myself depressed thinking all the above was true. Accepted what the people said and a severe inferiority complex gathered inside me.

Such negative comments can get you to curse yourself and what I lacked most was a mentor! A mentor who could understand me and show me the path to overcome these mental issues.

I had no one to talk to about the mental depression I was going through. Day by day I went into a cocoon. There were friends around me, and nobody understood that I am having a problem with depression. It’s been 24 years and many friends who might read this blog would find this phase of my life unbelievable! But as the saying goes facts are stranger than fiction!

I was all alone and just going through the motion. For the next few years that is what I went through – just on the motion. I didn’t lose it in my mind probably only because of Cricket. 

Then life took a turn when I joined ADDR.com. I got a job in inside sales and the work was only about writing. Writing emails to be precise. I had this habit of writing a diary during my school days but I stopped doing it. When I joined ADDR suddenly I felt the enthusiasm to go to work every day. I used to look forward to Mondays with a lot of energy. Still, I didn’t understand the inner calling. Once again I missed a mentor. Missing a mentor is something I realise today – if only I realised that 24-25 years back, things could have been very different. But I don’t have regrets of those depressing years because today I look back and think that was part of my journey and I feel happy that I overcame those bumps. 

What was my inner calling?

Writing!

I didn’t realise that I can weave magic around the words. I didn’t realise that simple English is loved by readers. I felt vocabulary is more important than free-flowing English. Didn’t realise that writing just like the way you are saying or talking is appreciated by many people. It was only in the year 2020 when a few unknown and unconnected people talked to me after reading my blogs and LinkedIn posts, I realised that it’s a talent. 

The pandemic of Covid-19 which led to months of lockdown in 2020 made me read and write more. I had a lot of time in hand which meant I could spend time reading those books which were lying on my shelf for many years. As I started reading more, I started taking notes and as I started taking notes, I started writing small snippets of my learnings, and then I got habituated to writing daily. I started my personal journal. Then I added the gratitude journal and finally a decision journal. 

Amidst all this, I wrote a book and wrote the plot of 3 other books (2nd book was released in August 2021) and it’s been less than a year of this writing habit. 

What do you need to do?

Your mind knows what your real calling is! What’s required is to listen deeply to that calling. It’s only possible when you spend time in solitude. And when you get the answer, stop thinking & start doing! Never procrastinate! 

Writing is bliss. Many don’t understand it. I see marketers who need content writers for their marketing initiatives! It will never give you great results! Writing is emotion. The brand is also an emotion. So as a marketer you need to write because you know your audience. You can employ an editor to fine-tune the writing, but you need to write your own copies if you are a marketer.

Writing comes from the soul. The words keep pouring out. This leads to decluttering of your mind. When that happens you get clarity of thoughts. You start living in the moment!

Too much time is spent in regrets of the past and anxiousness of the future. By writing, you can overcome these negative thoughts. Initially write for yourself. Better still, write it publicly because someone somewhere will get connected to your thoughts. Don’t spend time thinking about what others will think about you. Believe me, no one has the time to think about you, it’s just a wrong notion that people have, which stops them from writing publicly. This is the same reason why people don’t ask questions in group meetings. 

Always think like a child. Children never think twice before asking a question because for them if they don’t know something, they ask. If they don’t get something, they cry. If they like something, they smile. As we grow up we send signals to our brain that we should know everything because others show that they know everything. But that’s not true because everyone can’t know everything. So google for answers or ask someone and of course, read.

As I started writing more and more, I felt happy. Some people connected or aligned with my thoughts, many didn’t but that didn’t stop me because I was writing for myself. 

When you read a book or watch a movie or listen to a song do you do it for other’s pleasure or is it for your personal pleasure? It’s personal, isn’t it? Writing is also similar – you write for your pleasure – don’t think of others! Then some people will connect with your story and if you can inspire even one person in this world – remember you have done a great job. 

I love cricket and when I decided to document my journey as a cricket fan I never thought if anyone would really like to read that story but when I got feedback from unknown people who read my book I realised that I was able to hit the right chord. 

I built my career on writing. I am a sales professional and my emails connected with my clients who believed me and did business with me. It’s a different matter that I realised quite late that writing is my calling. Writing gave me happiness.

It’s important for you too, to understand your inner calling. You need to listen to your soul to understand your inner calling. Don’t compromise your happiness for anything. You are the hero and so it’s your right to be happy. But you need to take control of your life. Don’t lead a life based on peer pressure. Do what you love to do and I am sure you will be happy.

What’s your calling?

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