Come on, be a man!
We have heard this dialogue before in many Indian movies!
Isn’t that sexist?
Means, come on – if you are emotionally hydrated then you, as a man, have to show that all is cool and put up a brave face! That’s what this dialogue is all about.
But we are humans. We are vulnerable. We can make mistakes. We can get into trouble. We can get hurt. We can lose someone very close to us. After this also chin up? Be a man?
I have a big problem with this dialogue! It’s like men can’t cry. Men can’t show vulnerable emotions! Why so?
And when we show something to the world – which is basically a makeup – then deep inside we are falling apart. This leads to depression. It’s not so simple. But the fact is that depression is for real.
And the worst thing others can do is by saying, “be a man” or “it’s fine, move on”. These people don’t understand that depression exists. The person sitting right beside you might be suffering. Look out!
That’s why it’s important that you talk. Just talk and let another person listen to you. You need close family members or friends to get out of this scenario. People don’t understand the emotions that depressed people go through during these times.
Everyone is not the same. Some people play it very well or act very well.
But from the inside, these so-called strong people are broken. Many are! So it’s important that you talk to your near and dear ones. If you have a problem – speak. If you don’t have a problem – speak. All problems don’t need a solution. Sometimes what the other person needs is someone to talk to. It gets easier when you discuss or talk to another person. Even when there are no immediate solutions you will see the heaviness of your heart reducing after a candid talk.
Don’t make life difficult! Don’t make negative comments. Don’t be toxic. What works for you might not work for others! What emotions you had can’t be equated to another person’s emotion in the same scenario. We are all different and it’s important that we respect that.
By not talking we complicate matters! Isn’t it so weird that 25 years back it was difficult to communicate with people staying far away? When I used to stay in a hostel, I could speak only once a week with my parents. STD calls were very costly those days! There were no mobile phones. Today when we can call or talk with anyone at any time due to technology innovations, we take it for granted. We take relationships for granted. Relationships need to be given time. You need to talk.
If you are in a happy space and you are not making the first move to talk to your near and dear ones regularly then the problem lies with you. The people who are in the depressed zone won’t come and speak to you but they are yearning to talk. So give them the ears!
Depression is for real folks. Treat it very seriously! If you lose a close relative or a friend due to depression then you will be cursing yourself for life. It would remain a lifelong regret! Don’t do it!
Whom are you calling now?