The Power of Silence

Some talk a lot. And some talks less.

When you are angry – do you talk more or do you talk less?

Does shouting when you are angry help? Or does being silent get the message across better?

These are some questions that kept bothering me for many years.

I was an individual who over a period of time from being “a not-so-reactive” person turned into a very reactive one. As this shift happened over the last decade, a few of my friends kept pointing this out to me. I initially denied it as a problem but then I sat down and gave it a deep thought and I realised that reacting to situations is hampering me mentally as well as physically. Yes, when I am reacting, for that moment I could stop the conversations, I could stop the criticisms but in the long run, problems were not getting solved. 

One way to stop reacting is by becoming better listeners and another way is to do deep meditation.  

I have now realised that silence is the best medicine. Silence is more powerful than shouting or reacting or arguing. Let’s look into some pointers on how you can improve your life with the power of silence:

1. Never Defend Yourself

No single individual can be found without faults. Our vulnerabilities are what defines us and how we accept that and improve ourselves define our growth.

Weak people give excuses, strong people accept their mistakes and improve on them. The first step towards growth is to accept your mistake. When you accept, don’t think that you have lost a battle. This has nothing to do with your ego – it just shows that you are matured enough to learn and improve.

Defensive people give excuses and shouts at any given opportunity or under any criticism but by accepting your mistake, you move up the ladder because now you are ready to learn. Once you learn, you will get better.  

2. Never Complain

Very early in life, one of the most important things that my parents taught me was to never complain. My father always told me that remember you are lucky to have whatever you have because there are millions of people who don’t even get their basic needs fulfilled. My father struggled financially to meet ends meet but I never saw him complaining or blaming his luck. He accepted the truth, accepted the reality, and worked hard for a better future for his family in which he eventually succeeded.

To know more about him, you may wish to read this blog post which I wrote last year.

A complaining attitude is a useless habit because it’s just a waste of time. Either build power to change the situation or change your perception because nobody has the time to spend on your complaints. And it’s only possible if you believe in the power of silence. People who do not believe in the power of silence are generally the ones who give excuses and raise complaints!

When people do harm to you or you feel you have been given a raw deal, don’t complain – take a step back, try to understand why the situation came up, and ask yourself how and what you can do to change the situation in your favour.

3. Don’t Argue

What you say and what you do should be in alignment – Always.

As I keep saying – Walk the Talk.

Your point of view might not ring a bell with me but that can’t be the reason to argue.

People who do not believe in the Power of Silence get into arguments. Successful people don’t argue because they know an argument is a waste of time. Nobody wins an argument but you lose valuable time. What you also lose is your mental peace. Be at peace with yourself and that’s only possible if you can hear your inner voice. Your inner voice will never tell you to get into argument or a fight. I am not advocating that you should not fight for your rights but what I am saying is that do not get into fruitless arguments. Put your points forward based on data and logic but don’t let your emotions take over. When you get angry and get into a fight or argument, you lose your inner peace which will hamper your work as well as your body. Finally, you need a good night’s sleep and when your mind is not at peace you won’t get a good sleep which finally will lead to work-life imbalance.

The argument doesn’t get you kudos because it’s only the results that count. When you can deliver results without getting into arguments, people around you will realise who is more important and at that time you and others will realise the Power of Silence.

4. Don’t React

Respond to situations – don’t react to situations. I had this habit of replying to hostile emails too fast. This led to email wars. Over time, I have understood that it’s better to respond to hostile emails after 24 hours or after a good night’s sleep.

Many people respond too quickly when they get a scathing email from colleagues or clients. It’s important to understand the perspective first before reacting. Both of you are wearing different hats and definitely, her perspective must be different from yours. But does that mean you have to react with another scathing email? If you start, what will result is a big email chain with no final solution as both of you will try to win the battle. The bigger cause will be lost. 

5. Choose your words

If you believe in the Power of Silence, you will listen more and talk less. Wasting time on needless gossips or arguments will never take you far. You need to learn to speak only when needed. If you speak out of turn without ascertaining all the facts, you will end up with more enemies and your mental peace will lie in shatters.

It takes years to build a relationship so never destroy it by using words that might hurt the other person. Mentally strong people can speak through their eyes and through their silence. Try to do that, it would be difficult initially but once you are able to do it, you will find that the world is a better place to live in. Do not think that people will take you for granted if you do not speak much because the quality of words matters not the quantity.

6. Think & Sit Alone

Are you able to sit alone in a room for 30 minutes and do deep thinking? This is not something that people generally follow but it’s a fantastic habit. You can do it early in the morning or before going to bed. You are all by yourself and you will think about your problems and when you think aloud, you will hear your inner voice giving you the solution. 

I know it’s a boring activity for some and I am sure right now after reading this many would like to move to the next paragraph but believe me, try this for 1 week and I am sure you will come to know how powerful, silence is. When you are all by yourself, thinking deeply about your problems, you are in meditation mode, you are in focussing mode – it’s a mode that is very difficult to trigger but it gives you solutions. Talking to others might temporarily solve your problems but real problems will remain. Real problems have to be resolved and you are the only one who can resolve those problems. So sit still, think deep and your mind/body/soul will tell you what you need to do to get out of the problem. 

7. Seek Truth

There is your truth, there is my truth and finally, there is the Real Truth. Always understand that by telling, I am truthful – you do not become one. Hence, it’s important to always seek the real truth. We human beings are biased and that makes us blind to the real truth. We make ourselves believe that all is ok even when it’s not and our system rots inside.

You can reach towards truth only when you believe in the power of silence. Because when you are silent and when you are thinking deep, you will be able to get to the real truth and when you get the real truth you will understand that life is worth living by positive and ethical values.

We all want to be respected.

We all want to lead a great life.

But we can only reach there if we are truthful. Nothing can be won over false ethos because nature takes it back. 

Karma bites – and bites hard! It’s a truth which you should never forget!

More words are spoken in silence and when you understand and follow the path to attain this power, you will find something changing inside you and this change will make you a better person – a better human being.

Do you believe in the Power of Silence? Do you have any points to add?

After reading this do you think introverts are people who believe in the Power of Silence? Do you think introverts or people who believe in the Power of Silence can become great leaders?

Please share your thoughts as I plan my next blog post which would be about leadership or any associated topic around leadership.

Stay safe friends. 

PS. India is going through an unimaginable crisis. 2021 is now even worse than 2020 and we thought we had seen the worst last year. It’s vital that you stay positive and try helping others in whichever way you can. Simple retweets and liking posts related to the Covid crisis can help people. Please keep following your heart. Wear your masks & get vaccinated as soon as you can!

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