Today is Father’s Day and here is my story as a father of two wonderful kids (My teenage son doesn’t consider himself as a kid anymore but then that’s another story).Today is Father’s Day and here is my story as a father of two wonderful kids (My teenage son doesn’t consider himself as a kid anymore but then that’s another story).
I am a Bengali married to a Kannadiga. The language that we use to communicate with each other (me and my wife) is primarily Hindi – sometimes English. Don’t ask me why, but that was the common tongue for both of us from Day 1.
When my son was born in 2004, we were in Bangalore.
My in-laws and my wife used to talk in Kannada with my son.
Whereas
My parents and I used to talk with him in Bengali.
When my son was about 2.5 years old, we moved to Kolkata!
Bengali got precedence because everyone in and around spoke in Bengali!
My wife continued speaking in Kannada with my son though!
Over the years, my son picked up both Bengali and Kannada other than of course Hindi and English!
We got into a situation where my son used to speak in Bengali with me and others in Kolkata but swiftly changed to Kannada when he used to speak with anyone in Bangalore.
Amongst all this, my wife and I continued speaking with each other in Hindi and English.
Talk of a diverse country? Come to my home where multiple languages thrive!
Fast forward: 2016
We adopted a two-year-old girl from Chhapra, Bihar and she only understood Hindi!
After she came into our lives, our household language turned into Hindi though my parents continued to communicate in Bengali with both their grandchildren!
We tried speaking with her in all languages (Hindi, English, Kannada, Bengali) but she remained comfortable only in Hindi and English!
Even if you ask a question in Kannada or Bengali she will either answer in Hindi or in English!
If you come to my house this is what you will see:
BUT
Everyone speaking in Hindi with the daughter! And now 75% of the time we end up speaking in Hindi or English amongst each other!
This is how a diverse language household became a Hindi-dominant speaking household!
Lucky are those who are blessed with a daughter! Daughters change you! They are the biggest influencers in our lives!
If you want to learn about persuasion and influence techniques adopt a girl child! Your life will change!
What’s your story?
PS. Don’t think we need to celebrate a single Father’s Day because everyday is Father’s Day!
As France started their Euro 2020 campaign a couple of days back, I was met with a similar question which I have got used to over the years. And the question was “Why France”.
This is a question I have faced during World Cups more often than during European Championships. India is a football crazy nation with most people supporting Brazil or Argentina. The Latin American style of football has a worldwide following. They make you fall in love with the beautiful game. There are a few who support Germany and Italy too but French supporters in India are very rare. So here is my story of how and why I ended up becoming a French football supporter.
It started in 1986.
I was a 10-year-old kid enjoying my summer vacation in Kolkata when my uncle told me that there was a quarterfinal match to be played at night between Brazil and France. Hearing that both my father and uncle would be watching the match I thought to join in too. But watching a match and not supporting anyone was not something I was used to. So I asked my uncle and father whom they were rooting for. They answered Brazil. I thought, it’s better to go the opposite way because if the team that I am supporting wins, it will be great fun to see the frustration in my uncle and father’s faces, and anyways if my team loses, it didn’t matter because I was not into watching world football that much.
So late in the night, the match started. My uncle and father helped me recognise some of the star players like Zico from Brazil and Platini from France.
It was one of the best matches in the 1986 world cup. A free-flowing game with a nail-biting finish with finally France beating Brazil via penalties. There were a lot of surprises with Zico, Socrates, Platini all missing penalties. But that match which I watched accidentally made me a French football fan. I didn’t watch France play for the next 12 years but that match in 1986 remained with me for life and turned me into a French football fan for life. France didn’t do much after that because they lost in the Semifinals and the entire focus moved to Maradona and Argentina thereafter.
As things turned out, Maradona was the cynosure of all eyes, and why not, after all, he was the best footballer ever seen by our generation. He took Argentina to the finals of the 1990 World Cup too.
In the meanwhile French football went into a period of doldrums and they didn’t qualify for both the 1990 and 1994 world cups. By the time they re-entered the world cup, I was in college and it was 1998. With France back in the world cup, I remembered the 1986 Quarter-Final incident and by instinct went against the crowd and supported France from day 1.
Nobody really gave a chance to France, especially in my friends’ group who were either Brazil or Argentina supporters. Once again I found myself in a horrible minority position. This time I risked being heavily trolled too.
On the day of the finals, it was once again 1986 revisited with France meeting Brazil in Paris. About 5 of us were watching the match in our flat with me the only one wearing a blue T-shirt. By reaching the finals the French team had already become the greatest team in French history and now one final push was required for them to reach the pinnacle. Two early goals by Zinadine Zidane made my friends go back to their beds and I remember watching the match almost alone towards the end.
The supporter in me became a proud supporter post-1998. Why do we support a team that is not even remotely related to us? It’s a strange psychological question. The fact is, we are going through a lot of turmoil internally due to our daily hassles but we always want to show a “happy me” in the exterior. A team whom you support when they win makes you feel superior and that’s the reason you will find passionate fans taking an ugly route when their team loses. Because it’s all personal after all. How much you say, that’s not my team anyways because India is not playing, but when you commit your support towards a team, you are the team, and when that team wins or loses it matters to you. This is a fact. And hence though being a French supporter happened in zest in 1986 and once again in 1998 (just to be opposite of the crowd) – when France won I became committed to their football team. And that’s how it has been from there on. France went on to win the 2000 European Championships and then reached the World Cup finals in 2006.
The era of Zidane ended but French football kept growing and then in 2016 I got another fan at my home and my son followed me and started supporting France. France lost the Euro finals to Portugal that year but came back strongly in 2018 to win the World Cup once again. Most of my friends still support either Brazil or Argentina but it was me who was able to have a good laugh at the end of the World Cup – in fact, we had a nice get-together with a few friends at Bhojohori Manna to celebrate the World Cup win. It’s all about happiness you see – France is in no way related to me but their win felt like a personal win. That’s how sports work for the fans.
So as the Euro 2020 started one year late due to the pandemic of Covid-19 and as all my Latino-Football friends alienated towards Ronaldo and Portugal I am once again in the minority supporting the Les Blues. No problem, I say because being in the minority keeps your expectations down and as history has shown when your expectations are less, the win gives you even more pleasure.
On paper, this French team is the best in the world. Each of the players in their XI is a superstar. They are the favourites and that puts me under tension. The first match was won by a 1-0 margin but the big one against Portugal is round the corner.
Looking forward to some great football and I hope you are having a great time too.
Who are you supporting and why? What is your story?
All our lives we keep trying hard to impress others!
As a child, we want to impress the teacher! The seed is sown.
Then you see your parents trying to impress their neighbours or relatives with the marks you achieved in the exams. You start getting biased in your mind.
As a teenager, you try hard to impress that crush of yours!
You try to impress your friends with a new gift that you got – probably a cricket bat or a new cycle or a bike? You start getting status-biased.
Everything in your growing up years develops you towards a certain bias and a lot of it has to do with things over which you do not have control off.
Say, for example, your neighbouring friend rides a fancy bicycle and you yearn to have one. You rush to your parents and ask for a similar cycle or better. Now your parents can afford it or not is not in your control at all but you still yearn for it. If your parents give in to your demands they might end up telling you that get this percentage in the finals and I will get you that cycle. You get into competitive mode, comparison mode, and try to study hard and get good marks. You no longer study to learn something new – you study to get marks because the goal is to get a cycle. This is how biases keep building on our psyche and it keeps being with us most of our lives.
Little by little we forget to live our lives – we start living others’ lives. But we forget that we are, what we are. We are all unique and we all have our specific journey. We try to become someone else by competing, by comparing, and eventually keep getting disappointed.
When I was in college, I saw all my friends having a bike of their own. I yearned for one but my parents couldn’t afford it. I was a pillion rider right through my college days. This disappointment finally led to me buying a bike right after I got my first job. The naivety in me led to my first dabbling with loans and I ended up paying 35% of my salary as an EMI for a bike. A few years later when I left Bangalore and came to Kolkata, I sold off that bike without batting an eyelid and didn’t feel sad at all. Today I don’t even think about that bike. Today I feel why did I spend so much on that bike when probably a second-hand vehicle would have done my job. It was my status bias – the only problem, I realised it many years later in my life.
Throughout our lives, we keep trying to impress others (status bias) though the game is never about others. It’s always about you. When you buy that first bike, that first car, that first house – people will say congratulations but then they move on – nobody really cares about what you do and what you have, other than for that specific moment. Thereafter you are on your own – in most cases maintaining those assets and paying those EMIs. We bring the suffering to ourselves by trying to impress others and that’s one of the worst things to do in life. The biggest problem – we mostly realise this pretty late in life, at least that’s been the case with me.
I have a friend who is a good painter. A good artist. Art was his favourite subject. But painting doesn’t make a great career – that’s what he heard at home and he was literally forced to take up a professional degree. He adjusted to this new environment!
We all do – we eventually adjust – that’s how humans have evolved – we learn to adjust – we learn to compromise – we learn to keep our emotions in check.
Eventually, he became a professional, turned himself into an entrepreneur but when I go to his house, I see the canvasses in his room and I realised that he paints at night when the world sleeps. It’s great of him that he has kept his inner passion alive but he lost many years in between running after a degree which right now frankly doesn’t matter. That degree is just his social symbol. As I said a status symbol. We are all status-biased right from our childhood days!
When we enter the 40s we realise our mistake of the 20s but the years lost can’t be recovered. So the next generation should learn from our mistakes and do what they love to do. Don’t work just because others are doing it – don’t do something because your relatives are telling you to do it. I tell my son that spend time and think about what you love to do and then start learning and improving those skills. It could be anything. It could be cooking (which he loves to do) – just try to be the best at it. It could be designing (he is learning the skills online now that ICSE exams are cancelled). Just focus and try to excel in the field of your choice.
Recently I sent the below note to my son and asked him to take a printout and keep it handy so that he can revisit whenever he feels he is going astray.
“When you’re young, you have time. You have health, but you have no money. When you’re middle-aged, you have money and you have health, but you have no time. When you’re old, you have money and you have time, but you have no health.”
Bottom line: Get wealthy at a young age. Invest your time in garnering special knowledge and then monetise it. Invest in equities. In 15 years, you can be independent!
Here independence means financial independence. You will no longer work for money – you will work to make yourself happy. Only when you work with happiness – which only comes when you have a peaceful mind – you will get to reach your purpose in life.
Here is a small trick which you can try out!
Ask this question to your own self:
If you are 30 years old – What’s the best advice you will give your 22-year-old self?
At any age just go back 8-10 years and answer the above question and write down the answers!
You are now thinking in hindsight but you will see the mistakes you did in the last decade and work on the issues to improve your next decade.
I am sure when you truthfully answer it, you will know that life is all about you – it’s your life – you are the hero – others are supporting actors in the play.
So don’t waste time getting validation from others for your activities! Don’t spend time thinking about what others will think about you. Don’t spend time leading others’ lives! Go ahead and make a better life for yourself.
Are you doing it? If not, what’s stopping you?
PS. Babumoshai Zindagi Badi Honi Chahiye, Lambi Nehi!
The heartbreak of the 2019 World Cup loss in the semi-finals was a real one because India played really well going up to the semi-finals!
But then sports is like that! You end up losing when you least expect it.
Add to it, India’s record against New Zealand in ICC events has always been a dicey one! Somehow India ends up losing to them consistently! The last time that India won against New Zealand in an ICC event was way back in 2003. The superstitious me always had this doubt hanging and when India lost a hard-fought semi-final, I was not fully surprised!
With the World Cup gone out of hand, I and my friends changed our focus to WTC which was ICC’s latest plan to have a World Test Championship! Right after the World Cup, India travelled to West Indies which was India’s first series in this WTC cycle!
India played like champions and whitewashed West Indies!
When India beat Australia and then followed that with a 3-1 win against England their participation at the inaugural WTC finals was formalised!
With 3 days to go for the WTC finals, fans are getting visibly excited but people like me are being more pessimistic than optimistic! Once again it’s India’s nemesis, New Zealand who are waiting!
New Zealand has been the only team to have defeated India in a series in this WTC cycle. India was literally pushed aside by them in the 2 match series held in 2020. With New Zealand coming out of a great series win against England, they have their tails up and goes into the finals as the world’s number one side! So if India wins, it would be an upset! It works well for India because going in as favourites never worked for them.
Let’s now look into the playing XIs of both these sides. Both the teams have plenty of choices and it would be interesting to see the starting XI on 18th at Southampton.
For New Zealand, this is the playing XI that I feel is best suited.
Tom Latham
Devon Conway
Kane Williamson
Ross Taylor
Henry Nicholls
DJ Walting
Colin De Grandehomme
Kyle Jamieson
Tim Southee
Matt Henry
Trent Boult
There are two places to debate about. Does New Zealand take the spinner, Ajaz Patel in place of a pace bowler? And the second point of discussion is, do they take Matt Henry in place of Neil Wagner? I give my reasons below.
Some people think that by getting in a spinner you add variety to the attack. It might be true but you need to ask yourself about the quality of the spinner. Ajaz Patel is a good spinner – please don’t take me wrong but India will treat him with disdain. It will become a relief time for Indian batsmen and they might get the momentum back in their favour. The only way you can keep pushing India back is by relentless pace and swing bowling.
Batting well against quality swing bowling is an art and I do not think many batsmen in world cricket can negotiate such swing consistently. So for me, it should be an all-pace attack for New Zealand.
The debate of would they opt for Neil Wagner in place of Matt Henry or Tim Southee, I think they should go with Matt Henry and that’s because he has a great record against India.
Cricket works a lot on confidence. Matt Henry’s performance in the second test against England and his performance in the World Cup semifinals against India should tilt the scale for him.
Coming to India, this is my chosen playing XI:
Rohit Sharma
Shubhman Gill
Chetaswar Pujara
Virat Kohli
Ajinkya Rahane
Rishabh Pant
Ravindra Jadeja
Ravichandran Ashwin
Ishant Sharma
Md. Shami
Jasprit Bumrah
Not much to debate here other than perhaps why should India opt for 2 spinners and why can’t Siraj replace one of Shami or Ishant. I give my explanations below.
Jadeja is one of the top all-rounders in World Cricket today. You can’t drop him by any analysis because other than batting and bowling, his fielding is something which is least looked at. But as we saw in the Australia series a moment of brilliance can change the course of the match and Jadeja is capable of doing it again. The debate for Jadeja ends there.
Ashwin has been the highest wicket-taker in this WTC cycle. And India played in 3 series outside India. So you drop Ashwin at your own peril. Add to it, his dogged batting technique and he is a must-have in your XI.
With two spinners in the XI, India has 3 spots to be filled by pace bowlers. Bumrah walks in naturally in the XI leaving Umesh, Siraj, Ishant, and Shami to fight for the other 2 spots. Umesh has been highly inconsistent while bowling outside India so he will not be an option right now. The question of real debate is with Md. Siraj. He has been one of the most improved cricketers in the last few months and India has never lost a test match when he has played. The superstitious me wants him in the team. But I think India will go with experience and will start with Ishant and Shami. Ishant being a workhorse helps the captain with long spells and Shami is your go-to man to break partnerships.
So what do you think about my choices?
Who do you think will win the WTC finals? Can India break the Kiwi Jinx?
Do write in as we start the countdown to the biggest test match ever in the history of world cricket at Southampton on 18th June 2021.
I will be there in front of my TV screen at home. Where are you planning to watch it?
On 17th April 2021, I got my first dose of vaccine against the pandemic of Covid-19. I got vaccinated at a time when the demand for vaccines was low. Only people above the age of 45 years were being vaccinated at that time and there was a lot of reluctance from the general public regarding vaccination and hence vaccines were easily available. Since I took Covaxin my next dose was scheduled between 15th May and 29th May (28-42 Days).
The cases across the country were rising pretty fast at that time and very soon all states went into lockdown. West Bengal was one of the last states to implement lockdown on 17th May.
By that time, the vaccination was open for all adults in the country, and chaos reigned. The demand went skyrocketing and supply was thin. I started calling hospitals because my second dose was due but none of the private players had vaccine supply.
Soon 42 days got over and my second dose got overdue. Finally after 56 days, one of my friends gave me a link (BookMyShow link to book second dose at Medica Superspeciality Hospital, Kolkata).
It was a surprise because the way things were going I had doubts if any private players would have Covaxin especially since the price of one dose of Covaxin was Rs. 1410. Anyways, I quickly got into action and booked myself a slot at 9 AM on Sunday.
I live about 30 KMs from where Medica is situated and so I started at 8 AM. Around 8.40 AM I crossed the Ruby Hospital at EM Bypass and from there on I saw a lot of posters where it was written that the Vaccination drive of Medica was being held at Kishore Bharati Krirangan.
When I reached the venue, to my surprise I saw a huge crowd in front of the gate. By my estimate close to 200 people were already in line. My social distancing plans went for a toss. I went up to the security and asked if this queue was for Covaxin second dose 9 AM slot? He answered in the affirmative and with no other option, I went and stood in line.
The line started moving exactly at 9 AM and at 9.15 I reached the entrance. There the security asked me for the documents. As soon as he saw my document, he said, “You are booked for Covaxin second dose, this line is for the people who have booked for the first dose”. After standing in that heat, I didn’t find it funny at all. But, I kept my cool and asked so what’s next for me?
He said, that for the second dosage I need to go to the Medica Hospital and he added that there won’t be any queue like the one I encountered here. “What a grand relief”, I thought. I kept wondering, why couldn’t they put this important information in the banners all over the place? But, then that’s how it works – the marketers fail to realise that they should portray the client’s point of view – not theirs.
Thereafter, I reached the hospital premises which is about a kilometre from the stadium. At the entrance, I was shown to the location where the vaccine would be administered. I saw a few people standing outside the proposed venue but there were no hospital authorities around.
Few people who came before me were already getting irritated. Finally, after 10 minutes a lady appeared to inform us that it will start soon.
Soon – is a great word because it doesn’t quantify anything but is used quite regularly in India to keep irritated customers at bay.
Remember, this vaccination was already prepaid through bookmyshow.com so the entry should have been seamless. But it was not so. In place of using the QR reader, the person at the entrance was manually entering the order id – needless time wasted. After entering the room, I saw that there were 3 young interns at the registration desk who were spending 10 minutes for each person to verify their first dose. 3 ladies were doing this job and above them, there were 2 managers – think of misuse of resources – come to Medica.
Meanwhile, a lady who was in front of me was struggling to give her beneficiary ID. She didn’t have the certificate of the first dose and without the beneficiary ID, it was not possible to verify if she had taken the first dose. She had no clue what it was all about because the booking was done by her daughter who lives outside Kolkata. I tried to make her understand that she needs to call her daughter and get her login to Co-Win APP and send her the certificate via WhatsApp.
The people behind me were getting restless and I asked the lady at the counter if we can be allowed to be vaccinated as this lady will take some time to get her first certificate. Now this lady in front of me was not ready to leave her place – don’t know why – she felt that she has the right to delay everyone though she was the one who didn’t follow the process. This is a typical problem in India where people think that their problem is the biggest problem and the rest can wait. Thankfully one of the managers understood the chaos that was building up and took it upon himself to call the lady’s daughter and sorted out the matter.
A good 30 minutes was lost in all this before the process restarted. My documents were checked and I was asked to go to a small room to take my vaccine.
When I entered the room I saw 2 nurses sitting there and playing a mobile game – what else should they do after all it’s a good time pass for them. I sat down in the chair when one of the nurses asked me to give my phone number and Aadhar card. I was surprised because already I had given all these details in the registration counter. I asked why is it not all seamless? At the registration counter they have taken all the details then why does she need to enter again all this in her register? I was informed that it’s the process and they have to maintain it. Processes are made to improve the system and help in client satisfaction – but then this was the Medica way of vaccination process.
No option, I had to hand over my Aadhaar card to her and got myself vaccinated.
After that, I came back again to the registration counter to inform them that I have been vaccinated. Hearing which one of the ladies logged into their system and gave me the certificate. I wonder how did the lady know that I really took the vaccine or just walked around and came back? What is the use of using technology when people do not use it properly, I wondered.
Thankfully for the certificate, I didn’t need to wait for more than 5 minutes.
We were asked to report by 8.45 AM for our 9 AM slot but finally, the vaccination doors opened at 9.45 AM and by the time I left the hospital it was 10.30 AM. Did I tell you, I was 4th in the line. Wonder how long the people behind me took to get themselves vaccinated.
I am not sure if this chaos happened due to it being a Sunday – with experienced people taking off or this is how the hospital functions. I will not be able to know.
None the less this is definitely not how you manage a crowd under a raging pandemic in a hospital.
I hope people realise that we are far off from safety and we should manage these things better otherwise we will create super spreader events in the name of vaccination drive.
What do you think? Did you face issues with Covaxin second dose? How was your experience?
Please share.
There is no bravery in working for 12 hours every day and in the process compromising your health and family life.
You should have a clear distinction between your work life, family life, and yes “ME” time.
How to go about it?
First things first: YOU have to take control.
People around you can only give advice but for effective changes to happen, it’s you who will have to DO it.
The human study tells us that your concentration remains at the optimum level for 50 minutes at a stretch. Ideally, it’s best that you work for 50 minutes and then take a 5 minutes break. And let me add you can’t work at a stretch for more than 4-5 hours. This means you need to take a longish break after 4 or 5 hours. Even after following this protocol the best you can give in a day is 10 hours of work including all your breaks. And by best, I mean worthwhile work.
Today most people are working from home. I see many people taking this event too casually because they fail to keep a proper routine when working from home. Just because you are working from home doesn’t mean you should change your work schedule and be too flexible with your timetable.
So how do you plan your day?
This is what I suggest!
Creating this plan is good but what will really help you is when you stick to the plan!
I have seen colleagues telling me that it’s not possible to make and stick to such plans because they have a lot of unknown work that keeps popping up.
I tend to agree with this argument.
Every day something new or unwanted stuff comes up which is mainly fire fighting, especially for managers. By the time they douse that fire a lot of time gets lost and then they struggle with their time management. This eventually leads to them working long hours! But, the fact is that you will lose steam and stop loving your work if you follow such a rigorous routine.
One hack that I can suggest to you, is to follow the Eisenhower matrix in your work schedule.
As you can see if you can prepare a matrix in this format and keep updating daily you will be able to eliminate a few tasks which don’t need your immediate attention. People fail to plan this and when you fail to plan properly you will end up putting up long hours at work.
Extended hours at work is very bad for your physical and mental health. It also creates havoc in your family life. Did I tell you that your quality of work also reduces when you do too much work in a day?
If some unknown activities come up on a particular day, rework the task priorities using the Eisenhower matrix but ensure that you finish the most important tasks without fail. People fail to prioritise their activities because they do not have a mental model at hand. With the Eisenhower matrix, you can very well schedule your priorities or reschedule them at any point in time.
Remember the golden rule:
And each of the above activities should be part of your routine every weekday.
Do not show your frustration in front of your colleagues that you are working long hours or on weekends because you can control your work hours IF you want to control. What’s needed is a little bit of focus in planning your day and activities better.
How do you plan your day? Are you wasting your time on activities that are of less priority? Have you used the Eisenhower Matrix before? Did it help? Or do you have some other suggestions?
Please do share your views and thoughts – I am all ears!
It’s been one year and many companies are still struggling with managing employees who are working remotely.
And this is happening across many companies around the world.
Software companies in India who have thrived on the outsourcing model are struggling with managing their own employees! This is the biggest irony.
There are various reasons why this is happening. I thought about the same and here is my understanding of the whys!
I will dwell on all these points in detail but first I want you to look at the issues that are happening across the board.
What I hear and what I gather from numerous conversations on WhatsApp, Twitter and LinkedIn are that companies are forcing people to get out of their homes and work from office. This of course right now doesn’t hold true for India because many of the states are in lockdown and so you are forced to stay indoors. But when India was opening up late last year many companies more or less forced employees to work from office and if they didn’t, salaries were being deducted. A very clingy effort from the management of these companies I have to say.
All the onus won’t be with the management of these companies of course because if the employees are seen going for vacations then there is no reason why he or she shouldn’t come to the office once or twice a week. One thing is for sure that to build great relationships you need face-to-face casual meetings and discussions. And with the virtual onboarding of employees, it’s difficult to build such rapport over Zoom and Google meets. So it’s not such a bad idea to meet in small groups in the office once or twice a week (of course with all safety measures in place). But if there are employees who are not mentally confident to go out of their homes why force them? Especially those who didn’t go on vacations for more than 12 months? It shows that these employees have given particular importance to follow protocols till the COVID-19 ravage doesn’t stop. These people shouldn’t be forced. I do understand that there are employees who have taken advantage – these employees have gone out for vacations from November-March and when they were being called to the office they came up with excuses. Right or wrong we can keep them aside but these people don’t have an excuse because they had already taken the risk of going off to far-flung places during the pandemic. That’s why I said that the problem lies with both parties.
The thing that bothers me most is why didn’t companies develop systems and protocols on how to manage a remote workforce. Especially software companies! As a software outsourcing company if you are making money by selling man-hours and telling your clients to manage projects/employees remotely then why you yourself are struggling to do the same? This is food for thought because if you are struggling to manage employees remotely sitting in India, then imagine the struggle the clients had been facing for so many years, and for them, there is a culture gap and a language barrier too.
As humans we tend to never look inside for our answers, we always look for answers outside. We will never accept the problems that lie within us – we will always blame situations and we will always blame others. We tend to forget that when you point one finger towards others, another 3 fingers are pointing towards you but we keep ourselves blinded from this fact.
MS Dhoni made this very important comment once, “control the controllable”. So whatever is in your control you should always look at improving on those. Your employees will follow the process you set, they will follow the benchmarks you set. So you follow those yourself and make sure that you inspire others to follow them. In fact, when you do walk the talk I am sure people will follow the path. Most would.
Now let’s look at the various reasons why companies have been struggling to manage their employees remotely during this pandemic.
1. Communication
In Work from home format, the most important aspect that all parties should look into is communication. I always harped on this fact more than 14 months back when India was planning for the nationwide lockdown. I told in an email to all our employees to communicate openly and if required over-communicate. Most people across various organisations didn’t follow this properly because there is a problem when it comes to open and honest communication and that’s transparency. So as leaders, you need to ask yourself, have you been communicative enough during the start of the lockdown? Have you tried to give confidence to all your team members so that they can openly communicate? Or have you been hands-off? It was a new way of working and it was important for all the leaders to take the first step. If you have then I am sure you would have got reciprocating team members too. I do understand a hand has 5 fingers of different shapes and sizes and even after you try your best some might still try to do their own way. Well, in those cases you will have to believe that these people are not a culturally fit for your organisation and they will have to be unfortunately shown the door.
2. Lack of empathy
Building relationships is not easy! And building them when everyone is working remotely – it’s more difficult. If communication plays an important part, showing empathy and being compassionate towards your colleagues is equally important! As a manager when you call your team member you can’t just call her and assign tasks – you should first ask how is she and how is everything going at her family front before coming to the work-related things. We are not robots, we are humans and we expect basic empathy when we are communicating with humans. I feel in many cases the relationship breaks because the manager and the team member do not synchronise properly. A simple thank you works wonders. A simple question, “how are you doing today? or How is family?” makes the person connected with you. Try it and you will see that you will be able to build a team environment where everyone feels for each other. And when that happens it reflects in the quality of work too. A happy mind gives better results.
How do we change it? The leadership has to take the onus to speak to the managers and follow this principle as stated above. When the managers see how the leaders are speaking with them, then the same will be reflected back to the team. Once again communication is the key. And that’s why I kept communication as the first point in this discussion. We as leaders have to walk the talk. People will learn from us so how we show up will be grasped by the managers and they will follow those principles down the line.
A little show of empathy and compassionateness will go a long way to build a rock-solid team. Working remotely won’t stop your team members to give their best because they know they have a great leadership team and a caring manager. They will give their best even in very difficult situations!
3. Due Diligence
Hiring the right people is a challenge for any company and it’s even more challenging when the entire activity is being done remotely. But, we have to accept the situation and do the best we can. Recently I wrote about team building and in that, I focused on not having a team of more than 10 members. In the current work from home scenario, any team which is having more than 10 members is a recipe for disaster. This is where many companies are doing it wrong. All team members won’t be similar and hence if managers are managing a team of more than 10 people then it would become highly improbable for them to do justice to their work. This will eventually lead to customer dissatisfaction – worse still, the team members and their manager would also be stressed out. All companies must have a proper plan in place as far as the team break-up is concerned.
4. Proactiveness
Everybody understands the challenges we are facing today and hence all team members must show that they care. Things can be under control if we stop the last-minute surprises. If you are unable to work for a couple of days or your conditions at home stops you from giving full attention to work, then it’s your duty to inform your reporting head in advance so that they can plan accordingly. What is happening with Work from home scenario is that people are not being proactive enough to let the customers or their reporting head know about their problems in advance. This is leading to a scenario where the trust factor takes a beating. Other than the stress of missed deadlines, the manager now has this additional pressure of managing the client as well as the management because both these important stakeholders are hardly getting to see the real picture.
I offer the following solution:
Create a group on Skype or WhatsApp (Now we have Google Rooms too) and if anyone is having any problem or issue it should be raised in the group immediately so that a senior colleague or a manager will come to know in advance. Once again communication is the key and that’s why I put that as the number one problem. Many people have this apathy of communicating transparently. But the fact is if you communicate openly things get better for all parties.
This of course starts from the top. The management should be transparent in their communication and should let people know what are the expectations. And if someone is bypassing the rules which are affecting the company’s work culture then it should be handled quickly rather than sitting on it. Important decisions should be taken quickly and should be communicated transparently.
5. Sense of responsibility
As a professional, you should have a responsibility towards your work. There will be situations where you might not be able to finish a particular task within the set time – it’s OK – just let all the stakeholders know about it without being followed up. If you are accountable for your own work, I am sure, you will do it. So it’s important that as managers you instill this in all your team members. Give them freedom so that they can talk openly. Many times people go inside a cocoon and look for excuses only because the managers don’t communicate effectively. Give the team members the authority to plan their work and deliver. You will get better results when you stop micro-managing. This doesn’t mean you won’t check in with your team member once a day. As a manager, your duty is to see that your team member is happy at work. If there is any botheration – which you can only feel if you have a regular conversation with them – proactively solve their problems.
Team members will be happy with their managers when they see that their leader is going out of their way to help them out. When this happens proactively across the length and breadth of the team, you will see that people taking more ownership at work.
Yes, indeed, some will still take advantage of the situation. Unfortunately, you need to realise that people who do not have accountability and who only give excuses, are bad for your company and hence you will have to replace them. Never delay the fire because if you do that, you will find the good people getting frustrated because these people are now taking more pressure because of a couple of bad apples. Never let this happen because your company is going to suffer in the long run if you do that.
6. Proper usage of systems
Collaboration and communication tools saw an uptick post 2020. Online tools for sales, project management, human resources management, etc saw increased demand, and companies who didn’t invest in such tools earlier had to change post Covid-19. Also, real-time online video meetings like Zoom, Google Meet, etc saw an increase in demand too. Having tools in place is one thing but that doesn’t guarantee smooth work if people do not use these systems properly. If you get into a video call and switch off your video then how will the other people know if you are available online or not? Trust is a very important factor in any relationship and it starts with transparent communication. Managers need to ensure that all team members have their video switched on while having the meetings. People feel shy about the background since all are working from home. There is a simple hack for this: Get a custom banner designed as a background and use it for all your meetings. It can be a good branding exercise too.
Similarly, CRM and Project Management tools should be used properly and all senior people in the organisation should ensure that all are maintaining this as a habit. Responsibility comes with accountability. All are working from home and hence it is the duty of everyone to maintain these protocols so that there is seamless work across the teams and the clients don’t suffer.
But all this starts from the leadership and how they communicate to their teams. When you communicate the company’s goals and align them to the individual’s goals, things get easy. This is not an easy task because more than 50% of your team might not align so easily and this is where decision-taking becomes so important.
Are you able to communicate your brand’s why with your team’s why? If not, you will keep on struggling to maintain any decorum with remote workforce management. We are living in strange times and I do not see normal office work resuming for another 12-15 months in India. Businesses will be crushed to the ground if people do not pull up their socks and take stock of the above 6 measures.
But first things first – communicate.
Communicate doesn’t mean telling. It means engaging. You need to listen to the real problems and solve their issues – the genuine issues. If you aren’t able to do that then unfortunately competitors who are doing it will go too far ahead of you.
Are you able to turn this crisis into an opportunity? Are you thinking of Growth or are you thinking of survival?
Board exams were canceled and suddenly my son had a lot of free time on his hand. The lockdown inculcated some bad habits and one of those was the usage of mobile phone where he spent too much time watching Netflix. As the exams approached he reduced that and involved his time in studies but with exams getting canceled he suddenly had too much time in his hand. That was the precursor to his dilemma of what to do!
We had got his class XI books a few days ago before the cancellation notice came (good he was proactive on this). So he took out one of his literature books and started reading one of them. It was a book written by Vijay Tendulkar: Silence, The court is in session. He spent about 4-5 days finishing that book and then told me to read it because he liked it a lot.
I said if you liked it why don’t you try some other storybooks in fiction? He never read books and though my house is filled chalk a block with books and I am a voracious reader I failed to motivate him thus far. That day something changed and he said ok if you have any mystery novels give me. I jumped out of my workplace and went to some of the recent purchases and pulled out One Arranged Murder written by Chetan Bhagat. I had purchased it earlier this year but didn’t read it yet. To my surprise, for the next 2 days, I could see him always with the book in hand and on the third day he returned it saying he loved it and that’s why he could complete it so fast.
I was secretly amazed. Two books in one week! Human minds can do amazing stuff if you just think you can do it. My dream of making my son read was slowly getting fulfilled.
I waited for him to come to me and the very next day he came asking for another book. I was ready and this time, I asked him to read The Alchemist. A few days later he told me he is enjoying it and feels it’s better than Chetan Bhagat’s book. Not surprising, I told him because that’s why The Alchemist is known as a classic. After finishing that book, I knew he will come to me again and this time I handed to him Shoe Dog by Phil Knight. That’s the one he is reading now. His summer vacations are on so he has the time to read as much as he can.
The only way you can learn from others’ experiences is by reading books. Read any genre. Read whatever you feel you like to read but just read. You will eventually move to non-fiction, biographies, science, etc but to start just read. It’s a good habit to have and it opens up a new world for you.
After seeing my son reading so many books over the last few weeks, I realised that the best way to start making reading a habit is by reading whatever you like to read.
I have been a voracious reader right from my childhood days. Growing up as an introverted child, books were my best friends. Those days, I used to read a lot of comics which was followed by children’s books mainly in Bengali written by Upendrakishore Roychowdhury, Sukumar Ray, later Satyajit Ray, and others. I also read a few books on cricket. As I started growing up, I got hold of Tintin and I also used to have a stack of Nancy Drew and Hardy Boys in my house during my school days. So if you are starting as a reader and you feel bored after reading a few pages of business or self-help books, then first think like a child and pick up the genre of books which you love to read – it could be fiction or it could be biographies of some personality whom you have high regard for. I know a colleague, who started reading Sachin Tendulkar’s autobiography when I first asked him to read books. That was 5 years back – now he has started reading business and self-help books.
Just like you graduate from school to college to university, reading is similar. If you do not have a habit of reading books then do not start with business or self-help books right away. Graduate yourself from fiction to non-fiction to business and self-help books. Reading is a journey and so plan your journey. Do not get into the numbers, just take one day at a time. Give yourself a goal of reading 6 books in the first year and start reading them.
As always, you need to start first. You can’t just plan and sit on it. Plan a time for yourself when you will read the book and stick to it. Do not stress yourself too much. Try to tell your mind that you are going to enjoy this activity. If you do not like or feel bored after reading a few pages of a particular book – keep that aside and pick up something else. I have more books on my shelf than I have read. There is no harm in keeping a lot of books – this way you can pick up something else when a particular book doesn’t give you the thrill. The reading process should be enjoyable. Do not force yourself in doing something which you do not like. But if you say you want to be a great business leader but I won’t read books then I am sorry to disappoint you – that’s not gonna happen. If you are ambitious and if you want to make something bigger than yourself before you die then you will have to learn and there is no better place to learn different things than books.
Can you become a great salesman without learning about persuasion, psychology of influence, or negotiation? You can’t because you need to understand how human beings evolved and how you can predict better. These books help you to understand the human mind. There are tons of books on various subjects and frankly, we all have so little time but so many things to learn.
I hope to write more on how you can read better in my future posts and I also hope to share some of my favourite books on various topics in the coming months.
I hope you will be motivated to start reading. I kept reading and writing in front of my son for the last year and finally, he picked up. It’s one of my happiest moments in life to see my son picking up books from my shelf. If he can do it, I am sure you can too. It’s just the first step that’s important. Are you willing to take that?
I used to love the tennis matches involving Steffi Graf during my school days. Initially, it used to be with Martina Navratilova, then Monica Seles, and later a few others. She was a champion and I was a fan.
Those days I never understood the money part in professional sports but when I later came to know about the gap in pay structure between men and women, I felt awkward.
Simply, think in this way.
The match between Boris Becker and Stefan Edberg in the 1988 Wimbledon finals was a classic.
Just one day before that match we were witness to another classic. It was the match between Martina Navratilova and Steffi Graf.
I loved both the matches. The crowd loved both the matches. But the pay gap between both the champions was close to 15%. Things changed over the years and from 2007 onwards the gents and the ladies champions both get the same prize money.
Ok, that was the 80’s. A sport primarily played in western nations.
Let’s come forward and look at what’s happening in a different sport in India.
Let’s look at cricket.
Indian ladies team in the last few years have been finalists in two world cups and have reached the semifinals on another occasion. Gone are the days when the Indian ladies were pushovers. They are as good as any team, especially in white-ball cricket today.
But why then is the pay gap between men’s and women’s teams? And the pay gap is not small – it’s more than 90%.
Why so?
Women fail to raise their voices. They fear that by raising their voice, politics could see them sidelined from the team. Career s will come crashing down. So they take whatever is being given and play the game.
Wrong choice!
Indian men’s cricket has grown leaps and bounds over the last 2 decades by getting more and more opportunities! Have we given similar opportunities to our women’s team? There are two problems as I see it:
1. Men don’t care
2. Women don’t raise their voice
Women get easily satisfied with whatever they are getting. They start comparing with what women used to get in comparison 2 decades back. Well, then why don’t people compare what their men counterparts used to get in the same period?
You will find men are earning much more and women’s growth has been far lower!
What Sachin Tendulkar is to Indian cricket – Mytheli Raj is to women’s cricket (She is the highest run-getter in Women’s ODIs and the only Indian ladies cricketer to score more than 10,000 international runs)! Think of Jhulan Goswami – she is the world record holder of taking maximum wickets in ODI cricket. But do they get similar respect? Forget finances – respect is not even close to IPL cricketers. Why such disparities are being allowed?
We are in 2021 and such a mindset is not right.
Women’s game in India and across the world has improved leaps and bounds. With more opportunities, we are seeing skillful cricketers coming to the fore. Look at Hamanpreet Kaur, Smriti Mandhana, Deepti Sharma, Shafali Varma, Richa Ghosh, Rajeshwari Gayakwad – exceptional talents across the board. But look at how they are treated! Women cricketers had to arrange their trip to Mumbai personally whereas the men were given chartered flights! Why such disparity?
Our society will only improve when we remove this disparity. It all starts with the mindset.
I hope we in India raise our voice against such disparity! I have seen educated friends not accepting this! Many feel women should be paid lesser than men. I feel sad for these people – they have not grown in their minds. These friends have daughters at home – my question to them – will you accept if your daughter gets a lesser salary than her colleague only because she is a lady? If not then why don’t you raise your voice now?
The problem is most people are selfish. As long as it doesn’t hurt them directly they don’t realise. Very few people have the maturity to think of the greater good or raising a voice for society. But we need to change. Today women are equal partners in the nation’s growth and it all starts at home!
Let’s change our mindset! Let’s change ourselves for a better society.
Read 25 pages a day and you will end up reading 36 books in a year.
Write one page a day & you will be able to publish a book at the end of the year!
Walk for 5 Kms per day and it can lead to reducing 8 Kgs of your weight in a year (Caveat: control your diet – remove sugar and carbs).
Saving Rs. 100 per day means Rs 36,500 saved by the end of the year. If the same money is invested in a balanced advantage fund this savings will become Rs. 50,000 by the end of 3 years.
All the above data is amazing, isn’t it?
All these start from simple and ordinary habits which I call micro habits.
Micro habits are very ordinary habits and can be picked up very easily by anyone but the best part is that they can lead to extraordinary results.
Human beings are slaves to habits. So how about becoming slaves to those habits which can help you grow both from the mind as well as from the pocket?
We look too far ahead and get disappointed thinking that the goal is too tough to achieve.
If you weigh 100 Kgs and your target is to become 80 Kgs, it’s a tough road ahead but if you have a proper diet chart and give 30 minutes of your time in the mornings and evenings you can reach that goal within 24-30 months.
I find people hate reading books. I know it’s crazy because people who are reading this post must be having reading as a habit otherwise you wouldn’t have come this far but how about having a simple target of reading 2 pages per day? You can finish a 200-page book in 100 days which would easily translate to 4 books in a year. It’s a positive step, isn’t it? From 0 books the previous year to 4 books this year!
Then bring in the power of 1% and have a slightly higher goal for the next year. 2 pages per day can now become 4 pages per day for the next year. This is how you improve. This is how you utilise the power of 1%. This is how you build up ordinary habits. This is how you end up with extraordinary results.
Think of an iceberg! People only see 10% but it’s the 90% that’s below the surface of the water that matters. People don’t see it. Success is also similar. People see the successful you but they don’t see the hard work that you do behind the scene.
Hard work begins small and then you build on it. When you start it’s difficult. But soon you will get used to it.
The first book that you read would be tough to complete. Give yourself a prize when you finish it. Always enjoy small victories!
Saving Rs. 100 per day doesn’t look like a big deal but if you think of Rs. 50,000 it definitely does. Now when you see that saving Rs. 100 per day and investing that money in a mutual fund can get you to Rs. 50,000 in 3 years, doesn’t that excite you? Now think, as the money grows, you in the second year save another Rs. 36,500 and then again in the third year and in actual you will have more than Rs. 1.3 lakhs by the end of three years. Cool isn’t it? I told you, people see only the tip of the iceberg. It’s the simple habits and doing it daily that makes you successful.
Then, why do people avoid these habits?
Successful people do boring activities daily. This is how they build up their habits! They have a focused goal in front of them and they make sure that they won’t stop till they reach their goal. The funny part is that by the time they reach their goal they have already shifted their goalpost because goals are always aspirational.
If you think too far ahead you will not reach your goal because you are bound to get disappointed since success doesn’t happen in a linear curve. You will have days when you are down but if you are focused on your goal you will get up every day to go for your goals.
Why I tell people to read books is that it’s never possible for anyone to learn everything alone. So it’s better to learn from the experience of others. Books teach you. The author’s experience should be understood and one needs to grasp the understanding and try to put that to good use. Remember reading just for the sake of reading will not help. You need to put that in use to gain the benefits. That’s why I advise reading slowly.
I also advise people to write because of two reasons:
There is another reason. By writing down the important points you get into the habit of writing. A 200-word LinkedIn post of your yesterday’s learning can easily be posted as 5 tweets the next day. It’s that simple.
We are lucky and we should be grateful for the same.
I see so many people who are struggling around me. I can’t help everyone but I try to help some. So if all of us help a few people around us, things will get better in our society. Always pay it forward.
By gathering knowledge, by garnering wealth we might be able to help others. I keep saying there is no use in being an influencer if you can’t help others.
Count the “thank you” not the money in your bank account.
You can achieve this stage by first building habits.
But before “more” first start! It’s the first step that matters and then it’s all about the game of consistency.
We, humans, fail to turn up every day. Since you feel the activity is boring you won’t turn up every day or won’t want to turn up every day. But to be successful you will have to do boring activities daily.
Rome was not built in a day and you too won’t be successful overnight. But one day the tipping point will come but it will only come for those who believe in themselves – Who creates good habits and become the slave of such habits and who are relentless to achieve their small goals. I call these goals small because I want you to believe that they are easy to achieve. Reading 2 pages per day for one month is an easy goal to achieve. But by the end of the 100th day, you will become a slave of this habit. And if you can continue it for one year then you will not look back. You might look back but only in amazement of yourself because you will realise how far you have travelled and you will find that it’s a different you.
Did I ever think to write a book? Probably yes but I never got myself to put in the hard yards. Then I decided to write 1000 words per day. Believe me, most of the days I ended up writing close to 1500 to 2000 words. These include my LinkedIn posts and tweets. Then voila one day I realised my book has crossed 70,000 words. I was amazed at myself that I could write so much in 6 months. People who know me very closely will vouch that I didn’t have the patience of this magnitude to finish a book. I could do it and I believe anyone of you can do it too.
My weight loss journey is still a work in progress. It’s less than 6 months since I am into this regime and my wife told me the other day that you are now habituated to go for your morning walks come what may. I realised it’s true. My sleeping habits have changed. My waking habits have changed. And I am discovering a new me. You can do it too.
It’s the small simple micro habits that you need to focus on.
You can do it. I know you can. Do you believe in yourself? What’s stopping you?